From the Cultural Climate Committee - Colorblind through Motherhood

 I grew up in a small town in middle America where everyone looked the same - white, middle class, Christian. After moving away for school, I made several friends of color, but the core of my world remained pretty much the same as it had in my childhood.   When my husband and I began the process of adoption, we readily checked the boxes indicating we had no preference with regard to the child's race, health or gender.   However, when we received the call about a 3 month old African-American baby boy, I started to question our suitability. Could we provide him the environment he needed to grow into a strong, confident young man? Growing up in a white family, would he find acceptance in the black community? Would the black community find us to be suitable parents for this beautiful little boy?  Would he find acceptance in our extended family? 

Most of our worries quickly vanished the moment we held our beautiful baby boy.   One of the best signs for me that everything would work out ok was when my 90 year old grandmother held out her arms and held him throughout our entire visit.  When she first heard we were adopting a black child, grandma would quickly change the subject and refuse to discuss it further. Grandma came from a different time, and thankfully we’ve come some distance from that place. If my grandma could change her lifetime prejudice by holding one little baby, there remains great hope for the world. 

 

When I listen to the news and hear of the tragedies of young black men, however, I realize many of my fears could still become reality. How can we live in a world where people are labeled, judged, and even killed simply because of the color of their skin? How can we create a world where people look deeper and take the time to experience a person’s mind and heart?

Back in preschool, our son announced one day that he was beautiful brown, and we, his parents, were "yellow" (said with a hint of disdain). “Yellow” was not exactly the color that I would have chosen to describe myself. But I agree, he is our beautiful brown son. One day, however, his confidence wavered and he told us he was sad because he looked different than his dad and me.  In order to show him that everyone is different, we asked him “what color eyes does everyone at the dinner table have?”  Mom and dad have brown eyes, just like him; but his grandma has blue eyes. He giggled "Grandma is different!" While it didn't make grandma feel good, he understood that we all have different visible qualities - be it the color of our skin, hair, or eyes.    

Thanks to my beautiful brown skin son, I now view the world through a new and better set of eyes.   How I wish everyone could experience this same vision through the eyes of love.  

Karen Seitter
Committee Member

When I was kid, there was a very popular made-for-TV movie called, "The Boy in the Plastic Bubble" starring John Travolta.

In the movie, Travolta's character was born with an extremely compromised immune system that made physical contact with the rest of the world a potentially deadly proposition. As he grew older, a "bubble" was constructed that allowed him to have a relationship with the world.

Here at St. Paul's, even before I was hired in my position as Diversity Coordinator, I heard a lot about the St. Paul's bubble.

Some refer to the bubble in negative terms, as in "The students here are in a bubble so it's going to be hard for them once they leave here." But some have admitted to me that they view the bubble as positive, as in "I'm glad my kids here are in a bubble and protected from all the awful things out there that they will encounter soon enough."

The figurative St. Paul's bubble is neither good nor bad. But I think many are misguided by what the bubble really is and under the illusion that it takes more than a needle's pinprick to destroy it.

In terms of imagery, think about what a bubble is - it's a barrier between what is inside the bubble and what is outside the bubble. But a bubble isn't a wall. The nature of a bubble is that it is transparent, allowing what's on the inside to perceive what's on the outside.

Our children may be in a bubble of warm, sweet protectiveness provided by the teachers and administrators but that bubble looks out on the rest of the world.

The windows of our classrooms, our playgrounds and our athletic field face Main and Walnut streets. The buses that transport our children on field trips weave through the streets of Kansas City, Missouri and beyond. Our children no longer just have television sets, radios and movie theaters to get a glimpse of the world beyond their neighborhoods  They have computers, smart phones, iPod, iPads, computer games and other electrical devices that connect them to websites that require no showing of age or identification to access.

I've heard several parents say that they limit or monitor the access their children have to the Internet. Yet, parents can't ever have total control over what another parent allows. Therefore, a child's access can expand by sharing in a friend's access to the world wide web of humanity.

The day after Miley Cyrus' performance on an award show where she "twerked" her way to infamy, I asked the 20 Middle School students in my 1:30 p.m.Creative Writing class if they had seen the performance from the night before. Eighteen of them quickly raised their hands. And most of those students knew exactly what they were seeing and why that was inappropriate behavior for any of them in which to engage.

Part of my job as a Diversity Coordinator is not to make the bubble go away but rather to help the St. Paul's community see the difference between appropriate safety and inappropriate fear.

Appropriate safety is teaching awareness regarding strangers being in places where the should not be. Inappropriate fear is assuming that anyone who "looks" different must be a source of harm.

Appropriate safety is using care and judgment in deciding whether to try a new experience. Inappropriate fear is assuming that any unfamiliar practice of another must automatically be something to mistrust and judge.

The world of our students is large and diverse and full of people and experiences both beautiful and awful. No magic formula exists to help students immediately figure out the differences between beauty and pain. But all of us in our respective adult roles try. And as part of the teaching, we help them to learn about the positive people and experiences to savor while helping them to build a strong immunity system to the emotional germs and viruses of life.

As can only happen in a made-for-TV movie (which is why network TV doesn't do them much any more), at the end of the "Boy in the Plastic Bubble" Travolta's character was able to discard the "bubble" and ride off on a horse with the girl of his dreams.

In our modern era of liberal access to the world, we need to be constantly aware that the bubbles we think we have around our children aren't as impenetrable as we think they are.

From the Cultural Climate Committee - 12 Years a Slave movie review

I had the privilege of seeing the premiere of 12 Years a Slave last month. It was released in theaters locally Friday, October 18. I don't typically make a habit of reviewing movies, but this is one worth sharing.

The movie is an historical drama film based on the 1853 autobiography, 12 Years a Slave by Solomon Northup, a free black man who was kidnapped in Washington DC after being lured from New York in 1841 and sold into slavery.

The movie opens with the most beautiful scene of Solomon and his family perfectly attired in period costume, living the most beautiful life as a free man and respected attorney in Saratoga Springs, NY. Within moments of the opening scene, he is duped and kidnapped and sold into slavery. 

This is the incredible true story of his fight for survival and freedom. Solomon spends 12 years in a living hell that is the most graphic, brutal, heart wrenching nightmare I have ever endured in a movie. It was painful for me to watch and on several occasions I had to close my eyes and weep. (One should feel sorry for my patient husband that had the misfortune of sitting next to me). The reason this is so painful is that this is history. Our history. Having said that, throughout the movie, there are beautiful moments where grace is extended. The acting is outstanding and captures the very best and worst of human nature.

The movie is rated R and for good reason. It is a very honest depiction of American slavery. I would highly recommend this movie to everyone. For  children of high school age and beyond, I think it's a must see. I can't think of a better way to fully appreciate how far we have come as a nation. I only had to endure this painful story for two hours. Imagine if I had been Solomon living out this nightmare for 12 years , or worse, one of the many unnamed for a lifetime. Rarely does a movie leave such a profound and lasting impact. It has been over a month and I still can't stop thinking about it.

Michele Stowers

Committee Member

A Letter from the Cultural Climate Committee Chairperson

I am excited to serve as this year's Cultural Climate Committee chairperson.  As a member of the trustees for the school, I know that the leadership, faculty, staff, parents and students of St. Paul's are committed to embracing diversity from all walks of life.

The committee is off to a great start.  We have set the following three goals for the 2013-2014 school year:

1.            Assisting in outreach efforts to recruit faculty and staff;

2.            Assisting in outreach efforts to recruit students; and

3.            Communicating to the St. Paul's community more about the work of Michelle Johnson and our committee.

Michelle Johnson is our diversity coordinator at St. Paul's.  She is doing a wonderful job and daily improves the educational opportunities for all our students.  Michelle regularly posts to the diversity blog if you are interested in learning more about what she does and her goals for the year. 

We have already met with representatives from a local hospital.  During that first recruiting lunch we were asked "Tell us about diversity at St. Paul's.  That is an important issue for our doctors and administrators who come from all across the world."  That single statement describes the vision of not only the Cultural Climate Committee, but all of the St. Paul's community.  We want our school and students to embrace people from all around the world.  Not only does today's business world look, act and speak in wonderful new ways, but our faith tells us to love our neighbor, whoever they are.  Our students must be prepared to excel in life and be welcoming to all people is as important as reading, writing and arithmetic.   

The Cultural Climate Committee will be meeting throughout the school year and we welcome your ideas, input and advice.  Please consider joining our blog - http://spedsdiversitydialogue.blogspot.com/  This is a great way to keep up on all the wonderful activities and to find excellent resources.  Thank you for supporting Diversity at St. Paul's!

Stephen Bough

Chairperson

This summer, I caught up with St. Paul's grad Aaron Branch. Aaron and I met last year when we were both in the Kansas City Fringe Festival, where we each had a show. 

When I first met Aaron over a year ago, it was before I had begun my job or knew that he was a St. Paul's graduate. I was so impressed with the ease and grace and smarts he handled a wide variety of people in the room during an orientation session - a variety of not just races and ages, but people from the funky and artsy walk of life as well as the more conservative paths. Aaron didn't blink. 

Bumping into Aaron again this summer reminded me that one of the biggest misconceptions of my job here as the Diversity Coordinator is that some believe that I'm only here for the "diverse" students and by diverse they mean kids of color.

No, the racial issues of a handful of students is not all my position is about and Aaron was a walking reminder of my vision for this job.

Yes, St. Paul's had a hand in re-enforcing Aaron's confidence, but as a young African-American male, his family has passed on that extra emphasis and skill set of being aware of both how the world might interact with him and how he could interact with the world, regardless of, for example, whether the person in front of him was covered in tattoos, wears a three-piece suit or has tattoos underneath that business suit. 

Diversity and inclusion, in part, is about preparing our students to be better citizens of the world, to add another skill set to their character and to their repertoire for success. And that's for ALL students, faculty and parents, not just the ones who are different from the majority in some respect.

Aaron, for example, is about to move to Chicago to attend school and that ability to graciously and respectfully recognize and interact with a wide variety of people will take him a long, long way.

That's why I love this column written by a parent who is white (please click on the hyperlink) which I came across recently. It emphasizes that when it comes to becoming a country that wants to better overcome its significant racial hurdles, parents of white children could do their part by laying a more realistic foundation regarding race and ethnicity.

The column starts off with the following:

"Dear parents of white children,

I vote that we strike (emphasis added) the following from our parental lexicon:

1. “Everybody is equal.”
2. “We’re all the same underneath our skin.”

I realize this is counterintuitive. But I’m completely serious.

These statements are so abstract they’re mostly meaningless when handed to a seven (or even seventeen) year-old. That’s at best. At worst, they’re empty filler—stand-ins for the actual conversations about race, racial difference and racism we need to be having with our kids.

Sugar when our kids need protein."

As the parent goes on to write, in a country that still has major issues and tensions about race, we aren't doing our children - future adult citizens of the world - any favors by shielding them from the uncomfortable realities that many Americans still encounter.

Although this columnist addresses race in her point, her underlying philosophy is applicable to all differences.

For example, in my case as a child, my family was very good about having those early and meaningful conversations about race and religion because as a child, I had significant interaction with people from other races and religions. However, they did not have early and meaningful conversations with me regarding people with mental and physical disabilities, which left me with a huge and uncomfortable learning curve as an adult as I worked with and became friends with people who did have disabilities.

Giving our children that "extra" isn't a replacement for what they learn in school. It's certainly not a skill just important for any child outside the majority. Rather, it's a necessity that helps each child build a strong foundation where they can more successfully operate within the walls of St. Paul's and beyond.

As the new Diversity Coordinator, it’s natural that more than one person has asked me what activities the school has planned for Black History Month in the month of February.

Upon sending an email out to faculty to see what they had planned, I received a large number of emails back from teachers who planned a varied number of activities and learning points that will take place at all grade levels.

For example, in the Seventh Grade, Mr. Stewart is having students watch and discuss PBS’ “Eyes on the Prize” while in the Second Grade Ms. Stark has the students give group reports on famous African-Americans.

In all parts of the school, the teachers have independently made diverse and interesting choices on how to incorporate Black History Month in to the rest of the curriculum.

However, I think it’s important as a school that we make sure to recognize two very important things where Black History Month is concerned.

• ·         One, is that we realize that Black History Month can’t be the only time of the year that students are encouraged to think about the positive and pervasive contributions that black Americans have made to our community and to our society at large. Our textbooks, lesson plans, examples used in class should reflect this with every grade, all school year long.

• ·         The second point to remember is that while many people are very knowledgeable about the existence of February as Black History Month, we don’t tend to be as conscious or deliberate about celebrating the history and experiences of other cultures in America.

When Pat Bassett, president of the National Association of Independent Schools, visited Kansas City and spoke to educators about the values that we must teach our children to prepare them for the world, cross-cultural competency was one of those values.

In other words, it’s important that we look at Black History Month as just one of many tools in making sure that our students have as broad and engaged view of the world as they can.

It doesn’t diminish Black History Month to give heightened attention periodically to each of the large number of paths that have intersected to build and grow our society. If anything, it just enhances us all.